In this article, we are going to be talking about a new study that purports to show that men generally underestimate the sexual drives of their wives and girlfriends. But that the girlfriends have a pretty good idea of what’s going on with men. And then probably applies in other situations too. Maybe in a male, male relationship. Maybe, there also underestimate. But we don’t have evidence on that yet. So, unfortunately, we’re going to be sticking to the heterosexual on this particular. To improve your sexual stamina, you can use supplements like Male Extra or Extenze. These pills help to increase erection hardness and sex drive without side effects in a short period of time. The effect is different for all men, so you just have to try these pills at first to decide which one work better for you
So let me know what you think about these results. Men greatly underperceived the level of their woman’s libido while females systematically did exact assertions about how much their men desired intimacy. Which surprises me. So when the men underestimate the women, the women are happier about it. So I don’t know exactly what that part means.
I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion but certain things come to mind about that. Like, if somebody overestimates their partner’s sexual interest, I imagine things, if we were dating and you were “I can tell you’re horny”, and I’m “I’m really not”. Then you get into performance anxiety. I want to please you. I’m getting rejected and for some people, those cycles can be daily, or weekly, or monthly, and can affect overall relationship health. When you don’t have an open conversation about sex and don’t feel comfortable in that ebb and flow of sexual interest. So, you could be hitting a lot of little buttons that don’t feel good (fears, insecurities) on both sides. So, it seems like you’re at a safer, more even-keeled place, when you’re underestimating versus overestimating. That’s what I think of, but that’s just one theory.
I guess if you’re overestimating, then you could be putting pressure on the other person by implying that they want to have sex. If you’re underestimating, they can still make a move on you, and surprise you, I guess. It is interesting that women are better at estimating it. Which I suppose could be, maybe the men are more vocal about it? Or what’s your thought? So why do you think it is that the women are better at knowing how much sex the men want to have, than the men are about women?
Well one, we tend to encourage men to express sexual interest and be the actors in getting sex going. And so it’s like there’s a lot more like “well hey, you’re allowed”. You’re just allowed like guys are allowed to do that where women, it’s all like “are you a slut?”. Are you, should you not be turned on?
But this is inside of a relationship, do you think that a lot of women still have those fears inside of a relationship? Like seeming like a slut or something like that? Absolutely! But this is a partner!
But let’s say your male partner doesn’t want you. Then suddenly you’re the person with the higher libido, which means that you’re emasculate, your partner, you’re kind of emasculating yourself, because now you’re playing the guy role. Which is not true, none of that’s true, but people can feel weird, like “oh, who am I if I’m not being pursued by the guy?”. I mean this is like a classic story we tell people about what men and women are supposed to be like, which is not a real, but it’s this fairy tale we tell ourselves. So there’s a lot of weird dynamics that come to play, especially that come out when you’re in a relationship, finally.
So my thought is that the cure would seem to be being more open and communicative about what you want. I think, some people either may be too shy for that or their sexual guilt or whatever might stop them from doing that. But then also I think, some people might fear that that takes away some of the spontaneity. I think, there is an appeal to just naturally flowing into a sexual encounter, rather than like “hey, let’s do this in a couple of hours” or something.
So, what’s the solution? Well, once you’ve got an established sexual relationship, when you’re in a relationship, you tend to have more sex, than if you’re single, which people don’t realize. Having an awesome conversation once can help you for months and months. I say check in every once in awhile but being like “hey, when I’m interested in having sex, or like I’m feeling horny, and there’s no pressure, how would you want me to initiate, do you want me just to jump on you?”. So instead of saying “here’s how I’ll say it”, asking them how you would like it to start?
Yeah, it’s a part of me wants to be like “hey, I’m feeling sexy tonight. You want a couple of hours?”. Or “hey, I’ll jump in the shower. Do you want me to prep? Is there something you need to feel sexy? Or if you want me just to throw you down on the bed and go roar, what do you want from me?”.
You know, I think the things like, if somebody underestimates, if I were to underestimate your interest in sexy time, I would probably spend more time seducing you and giving attention to your arousal process. And so that can also increase your amount of satisfaction on a daily basis, if your partner’s giving you extra attention.
I wish everybody knew this stuff. Honestly, I think about this stuff, but the way you just described it right there, I could have avoided a lot of bad situations in relationships.
Well, when I see a study like this, it’s easy to jump to conclusions, but there’s so much nuance in relationships. So you can’t make assumptions about the correlation. It’s just a causation. Wait, causation or correlation? It’s a correlation, not causation. That’s what I’m saying, science. Yes, well, it could be causation, but it requires further study to establish.